Well, I'm pretty sure "routine" is killing me slowly. While each day tends to bring something different, there are elements that make one feel like the one before it and the one before that. If not for weekends and vacation, rountine would truly make time stand still. Repetition within routine is worse; luckily I can't say repetition plays a part in my every day routine.
I've had the hardest time lately accepting that the average human (I'm thinking in terms of the average citizen of the US type of human) was meant only to work, make money, spend money to live, have a family that you need more money for, retire (not so much of this anymore!), then die. The line "it's a living" bugs the crap out of me. You go to work the same time and leave the same time and eat lunch at the same time every day. How societies formed around this idea and not one based on the quality of life people are living is a crying shame.
It was after college, at 22, that I was sent out into "the real world" to obtain work, sent on my path to reach the promised land built around "retirement age". At this point I'm feeling more confident I'll see a unicorn then a social security, medicare or medicaid check; maybe I will if I'm on the right meds.
From the many, many stories I've heard and things I've witnessed the people most in-line with being able to sit back and just live are those with "problems". Those people who society has judged unable to function in our society. I've always wondered what type of place it would be if "normal" meant being autistic or having Downes Syndrome or a nervous tick, stutter or learning disability. Personally I think it'd be a happier place. As in my most recent post, we've maybe this world into a mess. "Smart people" created all of these things that are helping to destroy ourselves. Makes ya think, doesn't it?
Friday, June 3, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
if I leave here tomorrow
OK, so, if the world ends tomorrow, let me be numbered among those who decided to blog about it. Why not? If anything is to live on beyond us it's bound to be technology, right? Thousands of years from now a new life form, swinging by Ol' Earth, all burnt up and judged, discovers and extracts my dribble from a server of the "ancient interweb". Not quite as dramatic as discovering the Dead Sea Scrolls or Titanic, but maybe they'll read this and think "What's the Titanic? Sounds more interesting, let's go find THAT!".
I did have a minor episode, more like a passing thought, as a dad-to-be, that the people claiming the end is coming tomorrow, 8pm New Zealand time, are jerks...they suck. You can't seriously be suggesting that now, half-way through my wife's pregnancy, the world will be thrown into chaos and we'll all be dispatched into heaven or hell over the course of 5 months?!
I'm sorry to shock the crap out of ya, but, at least in my humble opinion, the world is and will continue to be on a slippery chaotic slope, ultimately careening into an earth we can't live on anymore. Mankind has very effieceintly created many means of self-destruction and I'm not just talking atomic bombs. From plastic bags, to cars, to the food we eat, we make things, manipulate things and attempt to control things in a hope to "make life easier", all while nipping away at the itegrity of nature, the earth, the climate, the things we really need to simply live. So, I'm convinced the people of earth don't need any help from a mightier power to destroy themselves, or bring an end to the world, we got this one big guy.
The Mississippi River, the most engineered river on the planet, swelling and taking back its flood plains. Nuclear panic in Japan after a massive earth quake send a tsunami into the island nation. Common feature: panic due to something man-made getting screwed by nature. Hurricane Katrina too, biggest problem, the breeching of the levies. I have the utmost sympathy for those who lost loved ones, their homes and their livelihood to these horrible events, don't get me wrong. Tese examples I want to use as proof for my aforementioned theory.
Recently, after hearing a radio interview pertaining to the development of meat in labs, I knew all hope was lost. "Development "of any kind usually means money, probably lots of it, was dumped into the research and materials in an attempt to make it. It means that someone thought that people can't find, or moreover, won't ever accept any other protein source that wasn't a juicy steak or burger. People are preparing for the day when cows and other delicious animals won't be cheap or as accessible a food source as they are today. No mention of promoting other, natural, means of meat or other protein production, just creating yet another Sweet-n-Low, another High Fructose Corn Syrup. How can this not be taken as BAD sign?!
Where to go once we made earth into a wasteland? I guess that's really the question. Will there be a "place" to go and how will we get there? The answer, to me, is right there. There is no "place" to go once we've messed everything up, the place is here. We can let it go or make it better. A beautiful and sustainable place to live or a smogged-over wasteland where we all burn under the UV rays of the sun that once grew our food.
I did have a minor episode, more like a passing thought, as a dad-to-be, that the people claiming the end is coming tomorrow, 8pm New Zealand time, are jerks...they suck. You can't seriously be suggesting that now, half-way through my wife's pregnancy, the world will be thrown into chaos and we'll all be dispatched into heaven or hell over the course of 5 months?!
I'm sorry to shock the crap out of ya, but, at least in my humble opinion, the world is and will continue to be on a slippery chaotic slope, ultimately careening into an earth we can't live on anymore. Mankind has very effieceintly created many means of self-destruction and I'm not just talking atomic bombs. From plastic bags, to cars, to the food we eat, we make things, manipulate things and attempt to control things in a hope to "make life easier", all while nipping away at the itegrity of nature, the earth, the climate, the things we really need to simply live. So, I'm convinced the people of earth don't need any help from a mightier power to destroy themselves, or bring an end to the world, we got this one big guy.
The Mississippi River, the most engineered river on the planet, swelling and taking back its flood plains. Nuclear panic in Japan after a massive earth quake send a tsunami into the island nation. Common feature: panic due to something man-made getting screwed by nature. Hurricane Katrina too, biggest problem, the breeching of the levies. I have the utmost sympathy for those who lost loved ones, their homes and their livelihood to these horrible events, don't get me wrong. Tese examples I want to use as proof for my aforementioned theory.
Recently, after hearing a radio interview pertaining to the development of meat in labs, I knew all hope was lost. "Development "of any kind usually means money, probably lots of it, was dumped into the research and materials in an attempt to make it. It means that someone thought that people can't find, or moreover, won't ever accept any other protein source that wasn't a juicy steak or burger. People are preparing for the day when cows and other delicious animals won't be cheap or as accessible a food source as they are today. No mention of promoting other, natural, means of meat or other protein production, just creating yet another Sweet-n-Low, another High Fructose Corn Syrup. How can this not be taken as BAD sign?!
Where to go once we made earth into a wasteland? I guess that's really the question. Will there be a "place" to go and how will we get there? The answer, to me, is right there. There is no "place" to go once we've messed everything up, the place is here. We can let it go or make it better. A beautiful and sustainable place to live or a smogged-over wasteland where we all burn under the UV rays of the sun that once grew our food.
Friday, May 6, 2011
of baby names and Target
I haven't put it into this blog yet, but in a few more months, if all goes well, I'll be a dad. I know, I know, don't think that way, "if all goes well", but c'mon I'd be a fool to not have a minute piece of doom and gloom and worry and a dash of anxiety during my wife's pregnancy - and no "We're" not pregnant, SHE is, I did my part.
Anyway, now, no matter where or when, just like when you get a new car, I see baby stuff everywhere, creeping into nearly every hour of every day, hitting like an eighteen-wheeler filled with stretchy pants, monkeys, trains, tiny shoes and the smell of plastic and powder. Today, Yahoo has a "Top 10 Baby Names" article, if you wanna call it an "article". I resisted clicking the link, but did it anyway, curious to see if any of the names we're considering we on it. They were not.
Part of me is thinking, "Haha! We beat the system! We went against the grain of American society! Our kid won't look back at the age of 20 and know their name was one of the most common of 2011! (Unlike mine, which was in 1981)
The other part of me is saying, "Who cares?! Snap out of it man! It's a list of names based on someones research, who clearly has a great job to have to get to do that for a living. Plus, it's kind of a marketing ploy for Yahoo."
But, lately I've found needing to enjoy any small victory I can get, so I'm taking this one and running. There's too much junk going on around me that I can't relish a morsel of something good. . . besides good food, which I try to make a place for daily.
"So, what are these 'not on the yahoo top10 list' names?!" you're asking. Not telling, not yet. I will say, that my wife and I made an easy agreement to be traditional with the names we choose, look to our family trees for guidance and meaning and not change the spelling in an attempt to be "different". Nicknames and abbreviations are OK as they age, I mean, why not? Well, OK, I guess "Chunk" would be a pretty crappy nickname.
Anyway, now, no matter where or when, just like when you get a new car, I see baby stuff everywhere, creeping into nearly every hour of every day, hitting like an eighteen-wheeler filled with stretchy pants, monkeys, trains, tiny shoes and the smell of plastic and powder. Today, Yahoo has a "Top 10 Baby Names" article, if you wanna call it an "article". I resisted clicking the link, but did it anyway, curious to see if any of the names we're considering we on it. They were not.
Part of me is thinking, "Haha! We beat the system! We went against the grain of American society! Our kid won't look back at the age of 20 and know their name was one of the most common of 2011! (Unlike mine, which was in 1981)
The other part of me is saying, "Who cares?! Snap out of it man! It's a list of names based on someones research, who clearly has a great job to have to get to do that for a living. Plus, it's kind of a marketing ploy for Yahoo."
But, lately I've found needing to enjoy any small victory I can get, so I'm taking this one and running. There's too much junk going on around me that I can't relish a morsel of something good. . . besides good food, which I try to make a place for daily.
"So, what are these 'not on the yahoo top10 list' names?!" you're asking. Not telling, not yet. I will say, that my wife and I made an easy agreement to be traditional with the names we choose, look to our family trees for guidance and meaning and not change the spelling in an attempt to be "different". Nicknames and abbreviations are OK as they age, I mean, why not? Well, OK, I guess "Chunk" would be a pretty crappy nickname.
bubbliscious
Yet another I wrote several moons ago that I just now got around to posting. In retrospect, I'm glad I waited, considering recent goings on in the world...
I thought it was the coffee, but no, my jittery, fluttering mind and extremities, I'm convinced now, are the result of my surroundings. I fought the urge to list everything that I'm talking about, I mean, is it really going to do anything other then amp me up to the point to bursting? We all know or at least have a sense what's going on "out there" in the world. We're at a point where we know less about our next-door neighbor then we know about a town 50, 500 or a 1000 miles away.
My brother made a great observation on how there are people who wake up, get in their car in the garage, go to work, get out of their car in a garage, leave work, get out of their car in their home garage, go into the house, all without ever touching an inch of earth. A contained "system" to their life, everyday. It take "personal bubble" to the next level.
I thought it was the coffee, but no, my jittery, fluttering mind and extremities, I'm convinced now, are the result of my surroundings. I fought the urge to list everything that I'm talking about, I mean, is it really going to do anything other then amp me up to the point to bursting? We all know or at least have a sense what's going on "out there" in the world. We're at a point where we know less about our next-door neighbor then we know about a town 50, 500 or a 1000 miles away.
My brother made a great observation on how there are people who wake up, get in their car in the garage, go to work, get out of their car in a garage, leave work, get out of their car in their home garage, go into the house, all without ever touching an inch of earth. A contained "system" to their life, everyday. It take "personal bubble" to the next level.
Friday, February 18, 2011
the year of the dog
My mom called me around dinner last night. "We're putting Dunkin down tonight, just thought I'd let you know." Dunkin, was my family's pet dog for the past 6-7 years. A Bichon Frise, he was affectionately known as "a little white fluff ball" with a tail that curled onto up onto his back mirrored with a quirky, "how can you not like me?!" personality. Over the past few months, he was withering away from a bounding bowing ball shape to a frail skeleton, not eating much and barely able to stand. As with many pets, the vet wasn't exactly sure what was up and my parents weren't about to invest thousands into a guessing game. They'd prefer he live out whatever days he had left as best he could at home being loved.
It's a bit upsetting to me and I'm sure to my siblings, but I know my mom and dad will take it the hardest. As "empty-nesters" Dunkin was the spoiled 4th child that would never leave home. You see 2010 was a year to remember to hate for my folks, due to two big events: my dad was laid-off and my aunt (my mom's older sister) passed away. Every visit home came with the self-tasked attempt to make things feel better. It was tough. My mom never looked that sad and beaten down. "I don't know Matt," she said, "the year, just a bad year. I just don't know what to do anymore. I give up."
I want to say Dunkin's passing isn't "as bad" as my aunt's, but, for me that can only be measured by how high the degree of care and love for something or someone. My dad did get another, better job he likes a lot and I think 2011 still stands a chance at being OK. My brother is getting married for one thing, my sis is graduating college, there's another. But I know, like it or not, it will always be the year we lost our "little white fluff ball."
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
incommunicationating
I started this post on a day much like today a few weeks ago. It lost momentum, but today boosted it again. So here it is.
Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote:
What makes much less sense to me is when people fail to communicate the simple, the everyday, the routine, the things that would make life just a tad easier for someone, or everyone, else. Many try to blame technology and others' incompetence, but I prefer to put it all on the individual. For the health of those who communicate, and do it well, perhaps what my friend said, "We need to teach you to be more Brooklyn", might be better for the mind then trying to continually strike a delicate balance.
E-mailing, the once mighty new form of communication, has become the bane of many an employee's existence. Rather than communicating the summation of a lot of data at a fast speed and in an Inbox, professional e-mail has turned into texting for the modern supervisor. We might like to think Blackberries are better and more professional then a 16 girls cell phone, because "I'm conducting business here, not texting about movies and boys". But really, what's the difference? If the success of innovation in communication has to be measured by anything, I'm going with the dehumanization of humans connecting with humans. :) :( :\ ttyl
Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote:
"We have shared the incommunicable experience of war. We have felt, we still feel, the passion of life to its top. In our youths our hearts were touched with fire."I can see how "war" would be an incommunicable experience. Every story I've heard and read from the mouths and pens of veterans cannot exactingly put across what they did, what they saw and what they've lived with since. That makes sense to me . . . regarding war.
What makes much less sense to me is when people fail to communicate the simple, the everyday, the routine, the things that would make life just a tad easier for someone, or everyone, else. Many try to blame technology and others' incompetence, but I prefer to put it all on the individual. For the health of those who communicate, and do it well, perhaps what my friend said, "We need to teach you to be more Brooklyn", might be better for the mind then trying to continually strike a delicate balance.
E-mailing, the once mighty new form of communication, has become the bane of many an employee's existence. Rather than communicating the summation of a lot of data at a fast speed and in an Inbox, professional e-mail has turned into texting for the modern supervisor. We might like to think Blackberries are better and more professional then a 16 girls cell phone, because "I'm conducting business here, not texting about movies and boys". But really, what's the difference? If the success of innovation in communication has to be measured by anything, I'm going with the dehumanization of humans connecting with humans. :) :( :\ ttyl
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
intro extro
I feel like I may actually be headed in the right direction with my self-image. It hit me after my wife was asking me about the strange fact that I turned sort of introverted at my fairly recent high school reunion.
"I thought you would be going around to all the small groups that formed talking to everyone," were her exact words.
Part of me thought, "Yeah, why didn't I?" and part of me thought and ultimately answered my wife with, "They're still the popular kids, the jocks and the drama club and I was none of the above. I don't think I'd know what to say. I was an am still a dork." I guess I was even answering her as if I was still 16.
Now I'm not a defeatist about myself, since I just called myself a "dork", I don't see a negative connotation to the word. No, I'm fine with the fact that I can fit in some defined category of people that some person thought up. I have, though, changed a good bit since high school and have a lot I could and would share if prompted; I like talking about where I work, my hobbies, my life since high school, I'm a much more interesting dork compared to back then, in my humble opinion. But did I really want to try to share this with people who cared less about me back then? Would they simply hear me talking, or really listen? Furthermore, did I want to hear their life stories?
In the end alcohol was a catalyst (if it had to be something, why not alcohol?) to eventually being warmly approached by people I didn't think would come near me that night. I'll admit, it was nice, even though slurred and set on a progressively louder background noise. Every conversation brought back good memories and laughs, and I found they also served as a way of reminding me of where I came from, who I was, what I gave up, what shaped me, etc etc.
After coming out of the time warp, it felt nice to get in the car with my wife and head back into reality, back to 2010. Not everything is perfect here and now, but at least I know at this point, and feel comfortable with, who I am.
"I thought you would be going around to all the small groups that formed talking to everyone," were her exact words.
Part of me thought, "Yeah, why didn't I?" and part of me thought and ultimately answered my wife with, "They're still the popular kids, the jocks and the drama club and I was none of the above. I don't think I'd know what to say. I was an am still a dork." I guess I was even answering her as if I was still 16.
Now I'm not a defeatist about myself, since I just called myself a "dork", I don't see a negative connotation to the word. No, I'm fine with the fact that I can fit in some defined category of people that some person thought up. I have, though, changed a good bit since high school and have a lot I could and would share if prompted; I like talking about where I work, my hobbies, my life since high school, I'm a much more interesting dork compared to back then, in my humble opinion. But did I really want to try to share this with people who cared less about me back then? Would they simply hear me talking, or really listen? Furthermore, did I want to hear their life stories?
In the end alcohol was a catalyst (if it had to be something, why not alcohol?) to eventually being warmly approached by people I didn't think would come near me that night. I'll admit, it was nice, even though slurred and set on a progressively louder background noise. Every conversation brought back good memories and laughs, and I found they also served as a way of reminding me of where I came from, who I was, what I gave up, what shaped me, etc etc.
After coming out of the time warp, it felt nice to get in the car with my wife and head back into reality, back to 2010. Not everything is perfect here and now, but at least I know at this point, and feel comfortable with, who I am.
Friday, February 11, 2011
sprouts
If I had to define this week by food, I'd choose brussel sprouts. Why brussel sprouts? For one, we bought a bunch of them at a local market and I've been throwing them in every dish I can. I hate seeing food go to waste. Last night was spaghetti tossed in a pan with brussel sprouts sauteed in olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper then given a generous dash of Parmesan cheese on the plate. Simple and tasty and not bad for ya!
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| thedailygreen.com Googled "brussel sprouts" and liked this shot |
Another reason for brussel sprouts, I hated them as a kid. I hated cabbage too. The point is, continual growth and change is good. (I'm not even gonna do a whole "like the layerinf of their leaves...the deeper I go" stuff) Continual learning, exploring and finding is good. Cooking has been a wonderful outlet for me to learn, explore and ultimately relax and enjoy. After dinner was done I was thinking about how I could use the rest of the sprouts; perhaps a slaw. I've already determined that when I have a kid, he or she will be right there with me, rolling dough, chopping veggies, creating, thinking, tasting, enjoying. And no Shun chef's knife until they're 10.
Lastly the poor sprout gets a horrible wrap. Tightly bundled on itself, it isn't always appreciated for what it has to offer. Not saying that it represents me, no, more what situations I found myself in this week. A lot going on, a lot to do, but for some reason, while people know that others can do good work and are good people with good intentions, they only have known it from afar. Frustrating for sure, since it's not the kind of person I am. Oh well, at least I know they're good for me.
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